For some reason, I've lately been pondering life, and more specifically, MY life. I don't know why; I'm not ill, and am happy, but just thinking about my life in general. Things like: How do I want to be remembered? What would I do differently if given the chance? What would I like to do before I die that I haven't yet? Stuff like that.
Does this mean I'm finally a grown-up? Does wondering about such things qualify one as such? Funny, I really don't feel grown up yet.
Anyway, I don't think I would do anything differently if given a "do-over". Only little things (which, in the end, are big things), like being more patient, having more time for my kids, less judgmental. The biggies are keepers. Even what I would consider my life's two biggest mistakes I wouldn't change. One gave me one of my kids, and the other (changing my college major from music to accounting) allowed me to achieve financial freedom, and led me directly to the path I'm now on. If I had continued on in music, I most likely would have always struggled for money, may not have ever had children, and would not now be able to play just for the love of it. I most definitely wouldn't have met my husband, since I met him on a business trip. I wonder if I'd be as content in my life as I am now. What it boils down to is this: everything in our life, good and bad, leads us to where we are today. If you're happy today, then all the bad was not only necessay to get you there, but part of who you are, and you shouldn't want to change anything.
As for what do I want to do still? Definitely travel more. I want to get to Europe before I'm too old to enjoy it. Australia, Africa, and Russia are also big on my list. I'm still thinking about the rest of my wish list. I always wanted to get my pilot's license. I have an innate love of airplanes and airports (thanks to my Air Force Dad!); since I was very little, I was fascinated by airplanes and have always wanted to learn to fly. I even took a few lessons years ago, but it's expensive, and since I've had kids, the idea sort of fell by the wayside. I may never get to fly them myself, but will always love to be around them. The first time I ever flew on a Boeing 777, I thought I was in airplane-geek heaven.
Kind of deep today; sorry. I guess I sort of had to vent. Tomorrow, hubby and I (along w/ another couple) are off to the Big Apple. Woohoo! We're going to see "The Odd Couple" and play tourist for a couple of days. My wonderful in-laws are watching the kids for us. Be back on Thursday!
Toodles
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3 comments:
I think ponderings on life - and the introspection that it inevitably brings - is definitely a sign that you're a grown-up... with kid-at-heart tendencies! :) Will we ever "feel" like grownups?
Anyway, have fun in New York! Sounds like a blast!
(PS: This is Tiggy, using an ancient blogger account until I can update stuff.)
I think that although we are chronologically moving, ahem, forward, we are "adult-ish"- but because we think the way we do, and veer exactly opposite of that "adult" mentality, growing up is optional.
At least for me. ;o)
I ponder life, and wonder what I would be if _____ happened etc. I think it's inevitable. But it sounds like you are so grounded, and so in touch with your *being* that you're comfortable in your skin, AND your life. THAT is a success, and very mature. (notice I said mature, NOT adult) ;o)
Have a wonderful time in the Big Apple, and be sure to take some photos!
I don't feel grown up yet either, which being I'm closer to 40 than 35, is something that surprises me. I always figured that by now I would feel more... "old". I haven't gotten to your level of pondering yet, as far as my overall life goals, but I have considered what brought me to where I am. As you said, good and bad, it's all made me who I am, and I wouldn't change anything.
Hope you're having a great time on your trip! :)
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