I love my children, really I do. But there are times such as the last few days where I have to stop and wonder if they are going through one of the proverbial "stages", or if I'm just not doing my job as a parent very well, or what. Seriously, I think I may kill one or both of them. Okay, not really; don't call the police....yet.
But L (now 7 1/2 yrs) has found his stubborn side, and uses it constantly. He had a good teacher, his sister M (almost 9). L has always been a bit of a nag, but we could at least reason with him. He is now putting his foot down, then screaming about it. Oh, and he changes his mind all the time. For example, yesterday we thought we'd take the kids to a movie. We decided on National Treasure. L thought that was great at first, then changed his mind and threw a fit about how we 'make him go to movies'. Okie-dokie, then. We called up Grandmom to see if they could go over there while hubby and I went to a grown up movie. Well, L then proceeded to pitch a fit about having to do THAT. He wanted to go to the movie after all. Too bad, buddy. Hubby and I went to see Charlie Wilson's War, and thoroughly enjoyed it, and our alone time. We took them to see National Treasure today, and both kids were transfixed the whole way through, even saying "great movie!" as we left. However, the tranquility lasted about as long as it took us to get to the car.
See, they are also fighting CONSTANTLY. About EVERYTHING. Most of which is vitally important to them, but truthfully the stupidest things you could imagine. It is impossible for the two of them to do anything together lately without WWIII breaking out.
To my Mom - I am SO sorry. I now understand what my brother and I put you through. Truly I do.
Now for M. She has found her inner bitch. Lordy almighty, has she. During the whole movie fiasco yesterday, she decided to pitch a tantrum about how she never gets what she wants, and numerous variations on that theme. The world MUST revolve around her. Shouldn't she know better, at least a little bit, by age 9? She then proceeded to take out her frustrations on her little brother by kicking him HARD for no valid reason (not that there is EVER a valid reason to hit, kick, or bite your brother). Let me just say that what followed was not one of my finer mommy moments.
After we both calmed down, we had a talk that gave me hope that she can learn to control herself, however she was back to her old ways today.
I can't WAIT for school to start back tomorrow! But please do keep checking Ebay for two very cute children - you may see them there yet.
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3 comments:
Hey Laura,
Happy, um, New Year. ;)
Two quick suggestions: one, a book called _Siblings Without Rivalry_, and two, when one of my kids (well, at least the older two) tells me that something isn't fair, I agree and tell them that they'd better stop or it's going to get a whole lot MORE UNFAIR. Let's see, if my M were to say something about how we never do anything she wants to do, I'd have a couple of things I could say in response. I could, for instance, say "Oh, I guess you don't like doing gymnastics and horse riding lessons, so I'll just cancel those [quickly pick up phone]" or I could, if I'm feeling particularly annoyed, agree with the statement and remind child that behavior like that will continue to ensure that we won't choose what that child wants to do, and then I'd give a choice - you can go to bed now, or you can come with us without any more complaints.
Mom of the Year, I am not. ;) But these things sorta work. LOL
Oh wait, you didn't ask for advice. Oops, sorry.
Hi Nat,
I think I have that book! Of course, I haven't read it, but I will definitely dig it out now.
Maybe I didn't ask, but I sure do appreciate the advice! Happy New Year to you!
oh, Laura ... I can so feel the pain. We have had those times where it seems the arguing is the actual "goal of the day" or is it getting under moms skin is the "goal". {sigh} although I have no suggestions, I will at least commiserate with you. You are not alone - doesn't help, does it? ;)
.... this, too, shall pass .... (dontcha HATE it when people say that to you?) okay, instead I'll say "I'll buy them from eBay and keep them safe and sound so that you can have a little reprieve and then come and fetch them - when you're good and ready". k?
(((hugs))) hope it passes soon .....
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